I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
