yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
