Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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