You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize