2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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