I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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