DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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