1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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