how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
