i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
