life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
