i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
