Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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