youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
