from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I deserve this hangover.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
