nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
