I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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