Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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