So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
