I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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