Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Randomize
