dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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