If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
