So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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