I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
