end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
