I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He felt like a one man threesome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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