For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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