Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize