Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
