Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
