he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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