If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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