Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize