When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
