i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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