toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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