What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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