I CAN MOONWALK!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
