I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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