You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize