Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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