she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
