Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
