Pappa wants mamma naked
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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