i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
