I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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