Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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