Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
