She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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