Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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