he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
