After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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