fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
