i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
