Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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