the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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