I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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