I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
