What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
