whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
