Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
