Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
