Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize